Memorable Moments (pt. 6)

If you haven't yet, check out Memorable Moments (pt.1).

Oct. 10

I went to Walmart with Carlos and older Carlos today. We left at 10 even though I talked with Hermano Carlos the day before and agreed to going at 8. I was originally supposed to be going with Hermano Carlos, but he said that Carlos could go with me. Aight. Then, older Carlos asked me if I went to Walmart yesterday, I told him that no and that I was going today, and he said he wanted to go, too. I thought it would be cool if they both came along, so we all went. I made sure to go quick because they had school, even though it was three hours before they had to go to school. On the way back, older Carlos complained the whole way that he wanted water and was tired. Carlos was fine, but older Carlos complained like he was getting paid 50 pesos every time he did. At first, I tried to get him to stop, but after five minutes of constant complaining, I decided to ignore him. Halfway there, older Carlos decided to take a different route than Carlos and me. I noticed that the roads met near the top of the hill, so I ignored him once again. Once we got to the first meeting point, I didn't see older Carlos anywhere. Went to the next road: no one. Went back to the first road, walked to where he should have been walking: no one. I was so fed up. Not only did Carlos have to get home so that he could shower and eat lunch, but older Carlos was no where to be found, and he had my cereal. I knew he knew his way around, but I didn't want to go back to the church without him. Not just because he had my cereal, but I was somewhat supposed to be watching him. I found out that he never asked his mom, so, really, he followed me to Walmart. Still, I didn't want to go back to the church, find out that he never showed up, his parents yell at me, then I would have to leave. Not happening. As all of this went through my head, older Carlos is sitting at the top of the road I was on laughing. I was so frustrated, mad, upset, all of the above. I told him countless times that there was no time to play around and that we needed to get back pronto so that they could get ready for school. Once I reached him, I blew up. Since he did that, so much time was wasted. I explained to him that that wasn't funny and that next time, he was not coming with me. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but, due to my lack of Spanish, I could not. Nothing bad, but like how I didn't want him going off and getting hurt or someone hurting him. I tried explaining that to him as we approached the church, and he said that he was Mexican. In other words, he said he was fine due to the fact that he was Mexican. I told him, "I don't care. You're 12. You're only a kid." He argued that, too. After a bit, he said he was sorry, but I told him that he was really going to have to mean it. He said he did, so I forgave him. I was going to forgive him anyway, but still. I want these kids to learn that when they say something like they're sorry, they need to mean it. I told him later on, after I learned how to say it, that I cared for him and didn't want him getting hurt. He then asked if he could have some of my juice, but I told him no. I was nit about to reward him after what he did. Another thing they need to learn: when you do something wrong, you pay the consequences. He didn't like that, but whatever. God, I pray that he actually learns this concept. In Jesus' name, amen.

Tuco was being really adorable today. In the morning, he asked me to go with him to get a free papaya. I said yes, and he held my hand the whole way. Unfortunately, there weren't anymore. The guy asked me if he was my son. I said no, just a friend. I should've told him that he was pretty much like a son to me. Then, he was mad at me because I didn't take him with me when I went to Walmart. That wasn't adorable, but it's somewhat necessary for the next part. I tried explaining to him that I couldn't (and didn't want to) take a bunch of people with me and that two was enough, but, being a little kid, he was still mad at me. Gabi also wanted to go, but didn't, so she was mad, too. Then, either she or Tuco said something about giving Tuco a sandwich, but I told them that I can't give all of my food away and have to save it. If not, then I have to go back to the U.S. I then asked them if they wanted me to stay or leave. Tuco didn't say anything. Gabi said leave. I don't know if it was because she was mad at me or not, but I said, "OK, adios," and went to the church. After a bit, I heard Tuco and Gabi calling my name. I went outside to where they were and just kept a straight face with them. Gabi asked me if I was leaving, and I told her, "Bueno, tú quieres me salir." Then Tuco said, "Yo quiero tu estar aquí," or something along those lines. Adorable. After a bit, Gabi said that she wanted me to stay, too. Then, they ate lunch. Tuco asked me to wait where I was for him and that he was going to get his food. He came back with his food and asked me if I ate already. I didn't, and so he asked me if I wanted some. I agreed, and Gabi came over and gave me a quesadilla. After that, I was sitting in front of the church, and Tuco came over with these sunglasses that had one of the lenses popped out. He put them on and put his eyes right up to mine. I have no idea what he was doing, but I thought it was adorable. Then, I asked him if he wanted to take a picture, and he said yes, so we took two. Later on, Tuco asked me to give him a sandwich, which made me upset because I had already explained to him why I couldn't. I explained to him again why I couldn't, but then said that I might be able to give him
one later. He then asked me to play cars with him. This was the first time he had asked me to play something like that. Of course, I agreed. David ended up coming to where we were, and we started playing a game with the cars. Tuco asked me again for a sandwich, but this time he came over to me, sat on my lap, and gave me a hug. It was so adorable, I couldn't say no. I told him when we were done playing that I would give him one. It's only a folded piece of bread with peanut butter. I didn't mind too much after that. He's so adorable. I want to adopt him.

Somehow, my D string on my guitar is broken. I don't know how since I didn't even play it yesterday, and it was fine the day before. I used the other guitar for worship practice, and the e string broke on that one. Great. I ended up playing bass. It was so awesome. I felt like a boss. It was really easy to learn, like it took me two minutes. Emmanuel told me that they would get me new strings for Sunday. Sweet.

Oct. 11

Carlos hasn't really talked to me ever since we got back from Walmart. I tried talking with him, but he said he had to take a shower, eat lunch, then go to school. It was two hours before he had to go to school. Hmmm.
I found out later that he had a lot of homework to do, so I understood. Still, he didn't even tell me that. I don't know. Hopefully nothing is up.

Pastor Elvis came to the church around 11:30 today, so I thought it would be a good opportunity for him to talk to one of the pastors from my church in Michigan. Pastor Elvis had asked me if I heard anything from my pastor, and I told him no since my phone hadn't been working right. I said that since it was working now, maybe I could call my church and have him talk to the Spanish-speaking pastor. He agreed. After they talked, they both said that it would be best for me to go back to Michigan for now and raise more support and hopefully get support from my church. Afterward, I could come back here and be financially stable and whatnot. I have mixed feelings about this. I really, really, REALLY don't want to leave, but, if it's God's will, then I will. I'm still wondering why God allowed me to be here if I was just going to go back two months later, but His plan is bigger and better than mine. Maybe there was something He wanted me to see. I don't know. I'll find out soon enough.

I went and played with Tuco and Gabi, and I ended up telling them that I might be leaving. I'm not really sure if Gabi cares, but I could really tell that Tuco was sad. He might have said, "Yo quiero tu quedarse aquí," but I'm not sure. It's hard to understand him sometimes. It's hard to understand his whole family sometimes. He then asked me to play action figures with him. They were like mini-action figures. Anyway, of course I agreed. How could I not? He pretended that his guy was living in this house that he made out of this dirt hill, and I was his friend or something. Then, this bionicle guy attacked us. Then, Tuco's guy moved to a different house at the top of the hill. It was this toy barn silo, but still. Like I said, Tuco is adorable. I'm making the adoption papers right now.
Seriously, I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave the kids. I'm finally starting to get them to not hit me as much and to not ask for my food all of the time. They have food, so it's not like they're starving. If they were, then I would definitely give them food without a doubt in my mind. I want them to know that I'm here to be there for them and to show them God's amazing love, not to give them a sandwich or a cookie. Now that I think they're starting to get that, I might be leaving. God, do Your will. Help it not to hurt so much.

Carlos's family knows now about what happened today. I told the parents and was going to tell them not to tell Carlos, but they did anyway. Hopefully he isn't too sad. It's only a maybe right now. My church is supposed to call me tomorrow and tell me what's up, so I'll find out then. Again, God, let Your will be done. In Jesus' name, amen.

Oct. 12

It poured last night. Lodo: Round 3.

I called my church today. Same news as yesterday. Don't know when, but I'm supposed to get a call back soon.

I hung out with Miguel and Moroni a lot today. More than usual. Carlos was with us, too. They didn't have school today because of the rain. I wish that was the same for my school when I was a kid, haha. We started playing outside, but once I got five pounds of mud on my shoes, I decided that maybe it was better to play inside. Pastor Elvis and his family were here, so it was all good in the hood. Carlos was wearing a shirt today that said that, haha. It was different playing with Miguel and Moroni. No getting hit. No angry kids. No throwing fits. Me gusta.

I hung out with Luis for the second half of the day. I told him about me possibly leaving. He said that I should just get a job here. I tried explaining to him that it can't just be any old job. It would have to line up with my calling. I wouldn't feel right otherwise. I'm not sure if I explained it correctly, but I did His best (His = God's. No more doing things in my own power). I then went with him to Paola's house, and we chilled there for a bit. Then, we went to his house and ate quesadillas. I was supposed to teach English at 7, but no one showed up, so Luis and I went to Carlito's house. I played FIFA12 against Brandon, Carlito's brother, and won. I beat a Mexican at soccer. I was scared. Of course, it was a video game, and I pretty much was just pressing buttons, but still. At 9, Carlito and Luis went to this different church to pray, but first, Luis went with me back to the church. After getting my phone from his house, we went our separate ways. Literally. Good day.

Oct. 13

Three new kids showed up to the Saturday program thing today: Ismael, Delek, and another Miguel. That made me really happy because we haven't had new kids in like the past month. They're all little kids, too, like 5 years old. Double bonus.

I'm a part of the drama team now, starting today. I'm doing this pantomiming thing next Sunday, and the Sunday after that, I'm playing Jesus in another thing. In the other thing, I'm dancing with the girl I like. The thing is, though, that I didn't know that I would be dancing with her. I knew she was the main part, but I didn't think I would have to dance with her. Great. God, help me.

I went to the orphanage with Luis today. Unfortunately, we got there at like 5, but still. I saw Cristofer again and was able to play with him this time. I also saw Christian, Ulysses, and Martin, but none of them said much to me. I met a bunch of new kids, too: Dilcia, Samantha, Amarani, Edwin, Alex, Angel, and Moises. I think I knew Samantha already, but I couldn't remember her name at all. I felt really bad because she knew mine, but I didn't know hers. Oops. Also, today was Amarani's Quincallera, which is her 15th birthday, but it's also the day she matures into a woman, or so it is in Mexican culture. This birthday is a big deal for Mexicans. If I would have known, I would have dressed up or something, but no one told me. Oh well. We had dinner and cake afterward, which was delicious. By the time that ended, it was already dark, so I got a couple pictures with Cristofer that all turned out blurry unfortunately, and a video with Cristofer, Dilcia, and Moises. Hopefully, I'll be able to put it up on Facebook soon. Tyler, one of the directors of the orphanage, gave me $5 to use for the taxi even though I told him that I had enough. It's a good thing he did, though, because we ended up getting on the wrong taxi at one point, so I had to use extra money for that. If I didn't have that $5, I wouldn't have made it home. Thank you, God. Overall: amazing day.

Oct. 14

Tuco got his adorable hair cut. His hair looks like mine when I got mine cut, haha. Well, at least he won't have hair covering his eye anymore.

After church, Luis told me that next Sunday, Pastor Elvis Is making a worship CD with our worship band. Oh man. I'm going to be on a CD.

I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but there's been these carnival rides down the hill from the church. Ever since they showed up, I've wanted to go on them. Today was the day. I went to the church soccer game with Carlos, and when he got back, he told me that his family was at the carnival. I didn't believe him because he had been making a lot of stuff up today. I also was watching him, so I didn't want to go down to the feria with Carlos when no one told me about it. When Karla and Estefani were walking up the hill to get him, I believed him. We went there, and I went on this little dragon roller coaster. I was definitely too big for it, but he wanted me to go on it with him, so I made myself fit. The thing went around at least 20 times, no joke. I seriously started wondering if the guy was going to ever stop it. Afterward, I went on this one ride with Mary Cruz, who met us there. She goes to our church, and I've talked to her every now and then. The ride went up and down and in a circle all at once. It lifted you out of your seat, which I thought was pretty fun. Mary Cruz didn't think so. Every time the ride went from high to low, she would scream. She ended up linking arms with me. She was pretty scared to begin with. I couldn't help but laugh. Not in a mean way at all, but the fact that I had a screaming girl linked arm-to-arm with me. I kept telling her, "Esta bien, esta bien," but I don't think she believed me. Her big hoop earring flew off while we were on the ride, too. Luckily, we were able to find it afterward. Overall, it was so fun. If I get the chance to go back again, I so am. Oh, also, there's this one ride there that freaks me out: the pirate ship ride. I don't know what it is, but something about going back and forth really high like that makes me feel like I'm going to fall out. There's not that much protecting you, either. The guy running it stopped it while it was as high as it could be in the air. I legit freaked out just by looking at it. A few nights ago, I had two nightmares about that dumb ride. In the first one, I was on it with Carlos, and he fell out. I had to grab on to his arm and try to pull him back in which it was moving. Terrifying. In the second one, I was on it, and it collapsed. I think I survived, but still. Rides like that are the only ones I don't like going on. Every other one: legooooo.

Oct. 15

I went to Hermana Gabi's house again to use the Internet. When I got there, one of her sons, Diego, was listening to Dubstep. That made me happy. While I was there, Hermana Gabi gave me breakfast, lunch, and a little snack, too. She blessed me so much. I also talked to her about everything that has been going on, like with my church and possibly going back to Michigan. She said that sometimes, we have to do things we don't want to do or don't like to do, but we need to do them. I knew that, but I definitely needed to be reminded of it. She said that it's also better to talk to my pastor in person rather than over the phone, which is definitely true. When I left, she gave me two donuts to eat. Thank ya, Jesus.

Oct. 16

My church called me this morning. I'm going back to Michigan next Tuesday. Not to stay (as far as I know), but so that I can talk with the pastors from my church and really get a solid support system. I prayed that if God wanted me to go back to Michigan, then everything would work out for everyone involved. As of now, everything is working out great. Unfortunately. Lol. I'm leaving Mexico Sunday evening.

I told Hermano Jesse and Hermano Carlos that I was leaving. I made sure to tell them not to tell anyone just yet. I'm trying to be cautious with who I tell this to. I feel that it might be better that way. I definitely want to wait to tell the kids.

Hands down, Tuco is officially the most adorable kid ever. HE came over to me and motioned for me to pick him up three different times today. When a kid does that, I find it extremely adorable. He wins the turkey.

I told Luis that I was leaving. He said that I need to be here when he gets married. He actually proposed to his fiancee, Susana, two weeks ago. I believe he said that they were planning to get married in February, so I gotta make sure I get the ball rollin' to get back here in time for that.

I ended up telling Carlos that I was leaving. I wasn't going to because I didn't want him to be sad, but I had to. He asked me to play my iPod because I had gotten new games on it and showed them to him yesterday, but I told him no because I wanted to spend time with him, but I couldn't if he was playing my iPod. At first, I told him that I might not have much time here because I might have to go back to Michigan, but I stopped myself and told him that not maybe, but that I was leaving to Michigan. I couldn't lie to him. I can't lie. I could tell that he was about to cry, but he did his best to hold it in. I told him that since I didn't have that much time here, I wanted to do as many things with him as possible, but, if he played my iPod, then I couldn't do things with him because he'd be playing my iPod alone, and I don't have any multiplayer games. He then told me that he only wanted to play it one more time. I told him that after dinner he could play with it. I then told him that I needed to talk to Pastor Elvis about me leaving, so I told him to wait. I also told him to make sure that he didn't tell anyone for multiple reasons. He gave me a hug, and I went to talk to Pastor Elvis. When I got up to walk, Carlos gave me another hug. Overtaken by adorableness, I picked him up and held him for a while. I didn't want to let him go, but I had to so that I could talk to Pastor Elvis.

After telling Pastor Elvis everything about me leaving, he said that they all were going to be sad, but it's good that I am so that I can get the support I need. He also said that he was going to help me put a video together and gather my pictures together onto a disk so that I could show them to my church and everyone else. Amen.

While I was outside in front of Carlos's house with Carlos playing with my iPod and sitting with some of his family and Luis, I saw one guy running pretty fast up the garbage area. A couple seconds later, another guy did the same. I didn't think anything of it, but then Hermano Carlos told us to go in his house as he was walking down the hill to see what was up. I heard what sounded like shooting, but I thought it was too quiet for shooting, so, again, I thought nothing of it. After that, Hermano Carlos and Luis told me that the one guy was chasing after the other with a gun, and that what I heard was shots going off, but with a silencer. I then thought back to before that, and I realized that I was going to sit in front of the church with Carlos, but he decided that he wanted to sit by his house. If I would've sat with Carlos by the church, right where those guys ran by, something could have happened. I started thanking God for changing Carlos's mind and keeping us by Carlos's house out of harm's way. Again, God, thank You.

I've thought about it, and I feel that it's better to tell everyone that I'm leaving before the day I leave. I was going to wait until Sunday to tell everyone, but I think it's better to do it before. I might wait to tell the kids, though, until Saturday. I don't want them to be sad longer than they're going to be. I told Carlos, but that's because I couldn't lie to him. I can't lie to anyone, nor do I want to, so I'm not going to mention anything about it unless asked.