Last
year, I went on a missions trip with AMP to Dallas, Texas. It has always been
one of my goals to go on a missions trip, so that is one of the reasons I went,
but I also was expecting God to speak to me through this. On this trip, we did
VBS for two low-income apartment complexes. Through doing VBS for the kids, God
showed me that He has given me a heart to help kids, specifically Hispanic
kids. Now, there were three things that I thought I would never do. One of the
things was working with kids. I had tried to teach my little brothers things,
but I always got frustrated or annoyed, so I thought, “If I can’t help my own
brothers, how am I ever going to help other kids?” So I put that out of my
mind, but through working with the kids on the trip, God showed me that this is
what He created me to do. On the last day of doing VBS, one of the missionaries
from the ministry we did work with was talking with someone from our team about
how she got involved with doing missions work in Texas. I was walking by them
and overheard them talking, and I wanted to join in on the conversation because
it sounded interesting, but I thought, “Nah, I’m not going to bother them,” so
I kept on walking. As I took a few steps past them, I felt something inside of
my heart say, “Go and talk to her (the missionary).” I slowed my pace, but I
still decided not to bother them. As I took my next step, I felt it again: “Go
and talk to her,” and I froze in my steps. I turned around and started talking
with the missionary. She told me how she got involved, what she does, and how
everything works. As she was explaining everything to me, I couldn’t stop thinking
how cool it would be to do that. I didn’t think I would do it forever, but to
be able to come back and help those kids for half a year would be the coolest
thing. As the trip went on, I continued to think about it. It never left my
mind. Everything that we did with the kids left such an impact on me. God
changed me. The last night of the missions trip, I stayed up after everyone had
gone to sleep and prayed. I really felt that God was telling me to go back to
Dallas and help the kids there. After praying and sitting in silence, listening
for God’s voice, I really felt God telling me to come back.
Once the trip was over, I went home
and worked on getting back to Dallas as soon as possible. After lots of praying
and seeking God, I finally went back to Dallas and did an internship with
another ministry, the Dallas Metro Dream Center, where I helped lead their
Sidewalk Sunday School and taught the preschool class at their church. While I
was there, I learned so much about ministry and working with kids, and God even
showed me more things about myself. In November, God told me that He wanted me
to be a missionary. Not just for that certain time, but for the rest of my
life. After I had really felt Him telling me that, I realized that He had been
telling me that all along. I think I
might have been avoiding it because that was the second thing that I thought I
would never do: be a missionary. I thought that all of the work missionaries do
was really cool, but I never thought I would do that or even could do that.
Again, God proved me wrong. He also put a vision in my mind. I saw what looked
like Mexican school buildings, three on the left, and three on the right. In
the middle of them were these three trees which were surrounded by stone
barriers built high enough to where someone could sit on them. I was sitting on
the front one with some Hispanic kids, whose ages ranged from 3 to 10, and
there were others coming towards me. We were sitting and laughing. I then saw
myself playing my guitar in a room with some older people. It looked like I was
leading worship. After seeing that, it really confirmed what God had told me,
and I really felt at peace about it. I knew that I needed to continue to do
missions work, so I started getting a plan together to continue working at the
Dream Center. I felt God telling me that He wanted me to do another semester at
the Dream Center, so I had asked the staff if that was ok, and they all agreed.
After the first semester was over,
I went home and did everything I could to get back. After spreading the word
about the work I was doing and raising the necessary funds, I made it back to
the Dream Center in February. As a staff, we went to Tommy Barnett’s Pastors
and Leaders school. For one of the nights, they did a play on the foster care
system and talked about their foster care/adoption agency. Now, God had placed
adoption on my heart back in November, but I hadn’t thought too much about it.
Now that they were talking about it and after everything I had seen, it really
hit me hard. I couldn’t get it off my mind. Just to think of all the kids who
barely have anyone there for them made my heart drop. We all had received these
cards, and on it, we were supposed to write our visions for our ministry. I
didn’t have my own ministry, so I just wrote down what I felt God was showing
me for my own life. I wrote down what God had shown me back in November
(working with kids, specifically Hispanic, and being a missionary) and now had
written down about adoption and the foster care system. I wasn’t sure how all
of these would fit together, but I wrote them all down anyway. On the second to
last day as we were driving to lunch, God placed these words in my mind: “A
missionary at a Hispanic orphanage.” I wasn’t even thinking about the card or
anything that had been talked about that whole week. I was just looking out the
window, and He had placed that on my mind. All of a sudden, the image of the
Mexican-looking buildings reappeared in my head. I then realized that they
weren’t school buildings, but buildings for an orphanage. The different ages of
children being there now made sense, too. Then, I thought about the other part
of the vision. I realized that the people weren’t just older people, but
teenagers. Everything came together and finally made sense. I took out my card
and wrote at the bottom: “A missionary at a Hispanic orphanage.”
As soon as we had returned home
from the conference, I started to look up pictures of Mexican orphanages. I
really felt that the buildings I saw would be something from Mexico, so I was
determined to find that picture. As I looked through, I saw pictures of orphans
from Mexico and even started to read about one of them. As I read, I really
felt that Mexico was the place where God wanted me to go, which was a little weird
for me because that was the third thing I thought I would never do: work in a
different country. I thought that I would stay in the United States and do work.
I knew people needed help in other countries, but I knew also that people
needed help here, as well, so I thought, “Why would I go to another country
when there’s all of these people who need help here?” Again, God proved me
wrong. I know that people need help here, but when God places a calling on your
life, you can’t ignore it or go around it. Also, my heart now longs to help the
people in Mexico. God changed me even more. He had taken the three things I
thought I would never do, and He changed my heart to want to do all of those
things.
After I had finished reading about
the 5 year-old boy from Mexico and about the ministry that took care of him, I
felt that I shouldn’t be looking up orphanages at that moment. I felt God
telling me that He wanted me to focus on what I was doing at the Dream Center,
and then He would reveal where He wanted me to go in His timing. In the
beginning of April, I was talking with my missionary friend who does work in
Honduras. She works with kids at a school there, and I worked with kids, so we
would share stories about our kids from time to time. We also would share things
about our spiritual life and ask each other questions about certain biblical
topics as well. I had told her before about everything God had been revealing
to me about what He wanted me to do with my life. I also told her of my plans
to stay at the Dream Center for a few more years, possibly become staff, and go
to Christ for the Nations and possibly learn some more things about ministry.
She asked me about what I would be doing if I became staff at the Dream Center,
and I told her that I would do the exact same thing, except I would be getting
paid for it. We then talked about it some more, and then she said, “Well, if
God has shown you what He wants you to do for your life, then why are you
avoiding it?” I thought about it, and at first I wasn’t sure, but then I
realized that I didn’t feel ready to go Mexico and work in an orphanage. She
told me, “If God didn’t think you were ready, He wouldn’t have told you about
going to Mexico. He would have told you something else.” She then went on to
say that if it was meant for me to go to CFNI, then He would have revealed that
to me and opened that door. She also said that if it was meant for me to become
staff at the Dream Center, God would have said that and opened that door as
well, but He didn’t. I was trying to do these things. I thought it was best for
me to get a job at the Dream Center and go to CFNI, but after talking with my
mentor at the Dream Center, he said that everything that my missionary friend
had told me was right. I realized that my plan was not God’s plan. I learned
that even though I was scared, possibly even terrified, to go to another
country where violence and poverty were very high, and even though I personally
didn’t feel ready, God was telling me that I didn’t need to be afraid because
He was with me and that I was ready. All of the hands-on training I received
from the Dream Center and all of the experience I had from working with the
kids would help me do what I needed to do in Mexico. My mentor, who is from
Nigeria, had also told me how he had made it here to America. He said it was
through connections that he got here. He had met some Americans who were in
Nigeria, and they helped him get here. He then told me that there might be
someone I know who has connections to Mexico and that I should try to see if I
did know of anyone. As he was saying that, Josh Sowiak popped in my head. I
remembered back in January when Josh had told me about how he was going on a
missions trip to Mexico. Curious, I asked him when it was. He told me sometime
near the end of May. My internship went to June 4, so I wouldn’t have been able
to go on it. Now I thought, “Well, if Josh is going on a missions trip to
Mexico, he has to know people down there. He wouldn’t just be aimlessly going
down there,” so I decided to call him that night and tell him everything that
had been going on, which I did. I asked him if there was any way that he could
help me get down to Mexico so I could do the work that God had called me to do.
He mentioned that he was going on a missions trip there and asked me when my
internship ended. I told him, and he said, “June 4? Huh. That’s the day the
missions trip starts.” At this, I was in shock. I was so surprised. Not only
did the date move from the end of May to June, but it happened to be the exact
day my internship ended. God worked everything out perfectly. Josh then said
that he would like me to go and meet some of his very good friends down there
who knew of several orphanages that I could possibly get involved with. As he
was telling me everything, I felt truly at peace. I knew that I had to get on
this trip. I did everything I could to get the funds to go, and just two days
before the trip, I received all of the money I needed to go. Two days later, I
was off to Mexico.
The trip to Mexico really confirmed
everything. The people were so accepting, the kids were adorable, and just
everything about Mexico seemed like home to me. Everything was so simple.
Despite their poor living conditions, they seemed to be content. They were
happy, and that’s where I wanted to be. I met Josh’s friends from San Diego,
told them about the dream God had placed on my heart, and they told me about a
couple different orphanages they knew of. One of the girls I met went to one of
the orphanages every weekend to help out, but due to her job, she can only go
down once every month. She told me about her experience there and also told me
about their internship. As she began to describe it to me, I felt in my heart
that that was the place where God wanted me to be. I had looked at eight
different orphanages in February and in April, but none of them felt right. I
never had peace about any of them. This one, however, was different. I had true
peace about it. I exchanged contact information with her, and she said she
would get in contact with them as soon as possible and let them know about me.
I'm currently still waiting to get in contact with the orphanage, but I know that everything will happen in God's timing. I've learned through this past year that His timing is perfect, even if I don't understand it. I just need to continue seeking Him for His peace, joy, and patience, and everything will come through.
"Don't be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7
Also, not being in Mexico helping those kids has really shown me that that is what God has called me to do. It's always on my mind. I may get distracted by what's happening in a certain moment, but right after, it's on my mind again. All my heart longs for is to help the orphans in Mexico, and every passing day that I'm not takes a little piece of my heart out. I know it will come soon, so I just need to continue to be patient and help the kids here while I can. God will bring me there soon enough.
