Once the trip was over, I went home and worked on getting back to Dallas as soon as possible. After lots of praying and seeking God, I finally went back to Dallas and did an internship with another ministry, the Dallas Metro Dream Center, where I helped lead their Sidewalk Sunday School and taught the preschool class at their church. While I was there, I learned so much about ministry and working with kids, and God even showed me more things about myself. In November, God told me that He wanted me to be a missionary. Not just for that certain time, but for the rest of my life. After I had really felt Him telling me that, I realized that He had been telling me that all along. I think I might have been avoiding it because that was the second thing that I thought I would never do: be a missionary. I thought that all of the work missionaries do was really cool, but I never thought I would do that or even could do that. Again, God proved me wrong. He also put a vision in my mind. I saw what looked like Mexican school buildings, three on the left, and three on the right. In the middle of them were these three trees which were surrounded by stone barriers built high enough to where someone could sit on them. I was sitting on the front one with some Hispanic kids, whose ages ranged from 3 to 10, and there were others coming towards me. We were sitting and laughing. I then saw myself playing my guitar in a room with some older people. It looked like I was leading worship. After seeing that, it really confirmed what God had told me, and I really felt at peace about it. I knew that I needed to continue to do missions work, so I started getting a plan together to continue working at the Dream Center. I felt God telling me that He wanted me to do another semester at the Dream Center, so I had asked the staff if that was ok, and they all agreed.
After the first semester was over, I went home and did everything I could to get back. After spreading the word about the work I was doing and raising the necessary funds, I made it back to the Dream Center in February. As a staff, we went to Tommy Barnett’s Pastors and Leaders school. For one of the nights, they did a play on the foster care system and talked about their foster care/adoption agency. Now, God had placed adoption on my heart back in November, but I hadn’t thought too much about it. Now that they were talking about it and after everything I had seen, it really hit me hard. I couldn’t get it off my mind. Just to think of all the kids who barely have anyone there for them made my heart drop. We all had received these cards, and on it, we were supposed to write our visions for our ministry. I didn’t have my own ministry, so I just wrote down what I felt God was showing me for my own life. I wrote down what God had shown me back in November (working with kids, specifically Hispanic, and being a missionary) and now had written down about adoption and the foster care system. I wasn’t sure how all of these would fit together, but I wrote them all down anyway. On the second to last day as we were driving to lunch, God placed these words in my mind: “A missionary at a Hispanic orphanage.” I wasn’t even thinking about the card or anything that had been talked about that whole week. I was just looking out the window, and He had placed that on my mind. All of a sudden, the image of the Mexican-looking buildings reappeared in my head. I then realized that they weren’t school buildings, but buildings for an orphanage. The different ages of children being there now made sense, too. Then, I thought about the other part of the vision. I realized that the people weren’t just older people, but teenagers. Everything came together and finally made sense. I took out my card and wrote at the bottom: “A missionary at a Hispanic orphanage.”
As soon as we had returned home from the conference, I started to look up pictures of Mexican orphanages. I really felt that the buildings I saw would be something from Mexico, so I was determined to find that picture. As I looked through, I saw pictures of orphans from Mexico and even started to read about one of them. As I read, I really felt that Mexico was the place where God wanted me to go, which was a little weird for me because that was the third thing I thought I would never do: work in a different country. I thought that I would stay in the United States and do work. I knew people needed help in other countries, but I knew also that people needed help here, as well, so I thought, “Why would I go to another country when there’s all of these people who need help here?” Again, God proved me wrong. I know that people need help here, but when God places a calling on your life, you can’t ignore it or go around it. Also, my heart now longs to help the people in Mexico. God changed me even more. He had taken the three things I thought I would never do, and He changed my heart to want to do all of those things.
After I had finished reading about the 5 year-old boy from Mexico and about the ministry that took care of him, I felt that I shouldn’t be looking up orphanages at that moment. I felt God telling me that He wanted me to focus on what I was doing at the Dream Center, and then He would reveal where He wanted me to go in His timing. In the beginning of April, I was talking with my missionary friend who does work in Honduras. She works with kids at a school there, and I worked with kids, so we would share stories about our kids from time to time. We also would share things about our spiritual life and ask each other questions about certain biblical topics as well. I had told her before about everything God had been revealing to me about what He wanted me to do with my life. I also told her of my plans to stay at the Dream Center for a few more years, possibly become staff, and go to Christ for the Nations and possibly learn some more things about ministry. She asked me about what I would be doing if I became staff at the Dream Center, and I told her that I would do the exact same thing, except I would be getting paid for it. We then talked about it some more, and then she said, “Well, if God has shown you what He wants you to do for your life, then why are you avoiding it?” I thought about it, and at first I wasn’t sure, but then I realized that I didn’t feel ready to go Mexico and work in an orphanage. She told me, “If God didn’t think you were ready, He wouldn’t have told you about going to Mexico. He would have told you something else.” She then went on to say that if it was meant for me to go to CFNI, then He would have revealed that to me and opened that door. She also said that if it was meant for me to become staff at the Dream Center, God would have said that and opened that door as well, but He didn’t. I was trying to do these things. I thought it was best for me to get a job at the Dream Center and go to CFNI, but after talking with my mentor at the Dream Center, he said that everything that my missionary friend had told me was right. I realized that my plan was not God’s plan. I learned that even though I was scared, possibly even terrified, to go to another country where violence and poverty were very high, and even though I personally didn’t feel ready, God was telling me that I didn’t need to be afraid because He was with me and that I was ready. All of the hands-on training I received from the Dream Center and all of the experience I had from working with the kids would help me do what I needed to do in Mexico. My mentor, who is from Nigeria, had also told me how he had made it here to America. He said it was through connections that he got here. He had met some Americans who were in Nigeria, and they helped him get here. He then told me that there might be someone I know who has connections to Mexico and that I should try to see if I did know of anyone. As he was saying that, Josh Sowiak popped in my head. I remembered back in January when Josh had told me about how he was going on a missions trip to Mexico. Curious, I asked him when it was. He told me sometime near the end of May. My internship went to June 4, so I wouldn’t have been able to go on it. Now I thought, “Well, if Josh is going on a missions trip to Mexico, he has to know people down there. He wouldn’t just be aimlessly going down there,” so I decided to call him that night and tell him everything that had been going on, which I did. I asked him if there was any way that he could help me get down to Mexico so I could do the work that God had called me to do. He mentioned that he was going on a missions trip there and asked me when my internship ended. I told him, and he said, “June 4? Huh. That’s the day the missions trip starts.” At this, I was in shock. I was so surprised. Not only did the date move from the end of May to June, but it happened to be the exact day my internship ended. God worked everything out perfectly. Josh then said that he would like me to go and meet some of his very good friends down there who knew of several orphanages that I could possibly get involved with. As he was telling me everything, I felt truly at peace. I knew that I had to get on this trip. I did everything I could to get the funds to go, and just two days before the trip, I received all of the money I needed to go. Two days later, I was off to Mexico.
The trip to Mexico really confirmed everything. The people were so accepting, the kids were adorable, and just everything about Mexico seemed like home to me. Everything was so simple. Despite their poor living conditions, they seemed to be content. They were happy, and that’s where I wanted to be. I met Josh’s friends from San Diego, told them about the dream God had placed on my heart, and they told me about a couple different orphanages they knew of. One of the girls I met went to one of the orphanages every weekend to help out, but due to her job, she can only go down once every month. She told me about her experience there and also told me about their internship. As she began to describe it to me, I felt in my heart that that was the place where God wanted me to be. I had looked at eight different orphanages in February and in April, but none of them felt right. I never had peace about any of them. This one, however, was different. I had true peace about it. I exchanged contact information with her, and she said she would get in contact with them as soon as possible and let them know about me.
I'm currently still waiting to get in contact with the orphanage, but I know that everything will happen in God's timing. I've learned through this past year that His timing is perfect, even if I don't understand it. I just need to continue seeking Him for His peace, joy, and patience, and everything will come through.
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